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If you ain’t having fun you ain’t making music. – Bob Clairmountain
Bring your own ax. Instruments are very personal. Vocalist, bring your own foam windscreen. Drummers, bring your own sticks. If you don’t mind using someone else’s toothbrush, make an exception for jams. Please keep your flora and fauna to your self, your pets may be ok with you but antisocial with others.
Tune up and warm up before you hit the stage.
Practice before you come to the jam. This should not be interpreted as just before.
There is no “I” in group, band, or ensemble.
Never adjust any equipment before asking the owner/player! Treat other’s equipment better than you treat your own. They worked hard for that equipment and make money with it. If you don’t have any equipment, you don’t belong on stage.
Don’t be a stage-hog! If “…doesn’t play well with others” is part of your personality profile, take up folk music and play coffee houses. If you’re a legend in your own mind and better than everyone at the jam, please don’t succumb to the temptation to sink to everyone else’s level and play.
If you plan to “sit-in” with another band, learn their material. If it’s billed as a blues jam know the standards. [The 3 Kings, Muddy Waters, Howlin’ Wolf, etc.] Know the repertoire, know where the stops are, and know how to play the appropriate groove. [drummers are you listening?] It is always a good idea to go to listen and figure out what’s being played before you get up on stage. It is far better to sit quietly and have people think you are ignorant than to play and remove all doubt. You don’t get a second chance to make a first impression.
There is no excuse for stepping on the vocals. Other leads, known as fills, may occur between the vocal lines. Note: not all of the other solo instruments at once, the leader should designate who plays those fills, share! If in doubt, leave it out, the song will survive.
A loud, overbearing instrument is like throwing a cherry bomb in a punch bowl, it clears the dance floor & the rest of the room.
Alcohol and drugs used excessively only make you think you play better. Everyone else knows better.
The singer calls the tune. If you don’t like that, learn to sing!
If you call the tune, lead the tune or designate someone else.
All of the musicians on the stage should listen to the vocals. Phrasing & delivery is important. If the singer sounds like their calling an auction the tempo is too fast. Switch to decafe.
Don’t play the same song [s] every time. Practice makes perfect, but it’s boring to everyone else. Doing this time after time will produce the resounding click of the audience turning off. Like a one trick pony, “done seen that trick already.”
Practicing should be done in private. Be sure to wash your hands afterwards.
Amateurs practice until they get it right, pro's practice until they can't get it wrong.
Jams are also a place to polish performance skills in front of an audience. Don’t abuse the audience or the other players by playing too loud, 10 minute solos or spending time on the bandstand arguing over what to play or who plays what or finding the ultimate tone. Audiences have an uncanny knack for being turned off by discord on the bandstand.
Try to avoid the “chestnuts” Stormy Monday and Mustang Sally, etc. are easy to play… badly.
Come to think of it, a harmonica is one of the easiest instruments to play… badly.
Solos should always have a melody [gasp!], a beginning, middle, and an end [horrors!]. The end should come before audience apathy sets in. [See below.]
One verse solos are character builders. It takes more skill to “say it in one.” More musicians will have the opportunity to play. A larger variety of tunes will get played. Listeners may even hang out. Playing endless solos drastically increases the audience turnover.
The spaces in the music are just as important as the notes.
Know your own gear. No one needs to have the patience for “operator error.” Balky equipment should also be left at home, work out your equipment problems on your own time. Go to a jam to play, not adjust.
Don’t try to teach complicated arrangements on the bandstand. The light at the end of the tunnel will be a train. It takes too long, the audience will get itchy feet, the other musicians will do what they damn well please, and the resulting train wreck may not qualify as comic relief.
Learn to listen. Don’t be a star. Support the lyric or the solo. What does the song need? It almost never needs endless feedback, 64th note runs, single stroke rolls at every turnaround, or busy bass lines. Learn to play ensemble. Share the spotlight. The more players on stage the less you need to [or should] play. Find your unique space while leaving some space for the others that are sharing the stage. The best players do their very best to complement the vocals & solos.
Be honest [not brutal] when asked for a critique, a phony stroke doesn’t do anyone any good. If you don’t want honest answers, don’t ask. Don’t offer unsolicited critique. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. Besides, opinions are like an anus, everybody has one. It’s just that some are vociferous and have more resonance.
Don’t “jam and run.” Hang out, show support for the other musicians, get to know the other musicians and listeners, listen, network, applaud, tip the wait staff, and perhaps learn something. You want other musicians to support you, return the favor. Be a good audience, good will is contagious. [However; Freebird, Whippin’ Post, Stairway To Heaven, or the second playing of Stormy Monday constitute exit music.]
Patronize the venue where the jam is taking place. Nothing kills a jam faster than a bunch of jammers that sit drinking Ocean cocktails [water] all night. Buy something! Splurge and buy a bottled water, get some food, SOMETHING. Consider it the price of admission to keep a good jam alive. The venue is in business to make money if you like to jam, show your appreciation to the venue that is hosting.
The cost of the instrument is usually inversely proportional to the skill of its player.
Music is not a competitive sport. Good music should be inclusive rather than exclusive.
Music is a life sentence.
Don’t ever tap on the mike, unplug the mike, or point the mike at the monitors. If it’s not your mike and chord, don’t swing it around, drop it, or even handle it without permission!
Because setting up another mike at a jam can be a hassle, at least have the courtesy to bring your own foam windscreen. They’re cheep, easy to transport, and washable. Nobody wants your cold.
Singers, defined here as one who does not play an instrument, [How come? Playing an instrument will make you a better singer.] are not exempt from practicing. Know the all words and the key that you sing that song best in. You may have talent, but there is no excuse for not refining that talent. You have the advantage of having your instrument with you all the time. Take advantage of it, sing in the car, sing in the shower, sing karaoke, but sing! [Just be careful about admitting to the karaoke thing, some people may not understand…]
>Soapbox warning! < Singers [men or women] that bring themselves to a gig and don’t help with the equipment setup deserve the resentment of the rest of the band. Learn to set up the Sound Reinforcement system, your own level, effects, etc. Oh yea… Own your own microphone! There is no excuse for a vocalist not to have their own small SR system and your own small powered monitor. [A SR system like a Fender Passport, awesome in small to medium venues for just vocals and even a vocalist can carry it in, one trip. Spring for the stands.] Everyone else in the band is expected to have his or her own equipment and know how to run it. [PA ? arggggggg!!!! PA stands for Public Address system… “Attention X-Mart shoppers: THERE’S A JUNKER IN THE PARKING LOT WITH ITS LIGHTS ON. Its ALSO VIOLATING HEALTH CODES.” Of course the car belongs to a musician…] Off…
Don’t bring so much gear that it requires a fortnight to setup. Have your gear organized so that it can be setup in 5 minutes or less, including tuning. A full Marshal stack will not be welcome. A small combo amp [a Finder Twin does not fit this definition.] if you must, and how many of those pedals do you really need? [Too many pedals and the type of amp will make no difference to your tone.] There may not be room on the stage for a large pedal board but a pedal board saves setup time. The less time wasted in setup, the more playing time for you and everyone else and the less chance of audience evaporation.
Always unplug the amp end of the chord before the guitar end!
Guitarists that want to play Stevie Ray Vaughn or Jimi Hendrix covers should be required to pass a proficiency exam and produce a certificate of completion prior to taking the stage.
Very little is known about this rare species. The appearance of one that can actually play at jam sessions is thought to be apocryphal . If one shows up to your jam, cherish them.
[hereafter referred to as the rhythm section. The others, guitarist and Keyboardist only stop in for a visit every once in a while.]
Contrary to popular belief, there ARE more than three shuffles. [Commonly believed to be the same groove played fast, slow, and half-fast.]
The drummer should only start the song if he knows it well. In blues, the bass player usually sets the tempo & drives the groove.
The rhythm section should play as if they only have one mind. [whooee!, so many possibilities for a cynical rejoinder…]
The kick drum should sound as if it’s plucking the strings of the bass while the bassist fingers the notes. [...??!!!,,,]
Time is not just a magazine or an abstract concept, a pocket is not just what you put your keys in, and meter is not just what you park next to. Buy a metronome and practice with it. [I know, I know, not logical…]
You can sing, learn! While you may not have a great lead voice, even in-tune backups make a group sound better. If you try, you might surprise yourself, weirder things happen. But practice your vocals as hard as you practice your licks. Don’t just sing on the gig or in the shower. Practice singing at/with your instrument so you don’t mess up the groove while singing. If you do sing own your own mike.
>Soapbox warning! < Most SR systems are designed mostly for vocal reinforcement. When drums and bass go through the sound system, sub woofers are absolutely necessary. The new active ones with crossovers that keep the low frequencies from interfering with the vocals are very cool. Even small rooms can benefit from micing the kick drum, it increases the urge to dance. Do not put kick or bass into the system without subwoofers, it will only reduce the power available for vocals. Medium rooms benefit most, large venues have their own systems. Since it benefits the rhythm section most, pony up! BTW: Overhead microphones on drums on small stages pick up everything but the drums. In fact, micing cymbals on small to medium stages is totally unnecessary. […grouse, grouse, grouse… something else to buy. Grumble…] Off!…
Playing slow & steady takes more skill than playing fast. The tune does not automatically speed up just because the intensity increases. I know this isn’t logical.
Bassists: see above.
Guitarists: see above.
Keyboardist: see above.
Excessive use of cymbals is noise pollution.
Single stroke rolls, particularly at every turnaround, are not cool.
Shuffles are not a race. Faster does not make a song more exciting.
You can’t learn a song just by listening to it.
When someone up front asks “do you know [song title]” do not respond with “whatever” or “just start, I’ll figure it out.”
>Soapbox warning! < Drummers should own a set of drum mikes, mounts and a mixer with enough inputs to cover those mikes plus your vocal mike [if applicable, if not, why not?]. You must know how to set them up. It is not the responsibility of the other band members to make sure [Shure?] you sound good. [I know this sucks when you spent all that money on tubs. Deal with it!…] Off!…
Play the pocket. Playing a buncha notes don’t make you a great player.
Funk has a time and a place. This is not usually during Stormy Monday.
Root straight eighth notes should be reserved for hardcore, beginners, and moments of sudden auditory trauma. [as in “…what the F*#@ song did he call?!?…]
As for the money walk [1-3-5-6-8-6-5-3], see above.
Bass solos are like a dancing bear. It’s not that the bear is a great dancer, it’s that the bear dances at all. Jaco Pastorius, Johnny B. Gayden, and a few others are the Fred Astair of dancing bears and the exception that proves the rule. All other mere mortals pay homage to the pocket and groove.
Practice with a metronome or a drum machine. Not all drummers [or God’s children] have good meter.
Always unplug the amp end of the chord before the bass end!
The host’s job is Master of Ceremonies. This involves time budgeting, personnel evaluation, conflict resolution, Introductions, and cheerleading… You know, management skills. It is your responsibility to ensure that everyone has a good time, for the same pay as your other band mates. The host must not fall victim to accidental magic, such as making the audience disappear. Nobody said that your job was easy.
The house band is paid to bring the equipment and musicianship. The house band should be gracious & supportive. The house band members should fill in when necessary and play to the best of their ability. Listeners and jammers will help you keep the gig.
Whenever a new player or singer shows up, put them up with enough members of the house band for proper support. This will allow a proper evaluation of their abilities or lack thereof.
Don’t put up all of the less skilled/seasoned or unknown players on stage at the same time. It’s always tempting, but nobody benefits. It frustrates the players and sends the listeners scurrying for the door. Worse, they may not come back…
Stick to the order of arrival for stage time order. This ruffles the least amount of feathers.
The “everybody gets three tunes and at least one solo” is a good thumb rule, but be aware of what’s going on with the crowd. If the crowd is into it, cool; if not pull the plug or change the lineup. Use the Andy Warhol “everybody gets 15 minutes of fame” rule. If the combo on stage takes 15 minutes to play the first tune, they’re done. On the other hand, if the combo is killin’ let ‘em burn! Everyone has a good time and word gets around.
Know your regulars. These are your friends and supporters. If they are not your friends when they walk in, they should be when they leave. If they’re there to play, ideal; if their there to unwind, have a few drinks, chat up an attractive other, and show off with their ax or voice, well… Know their playing styles, their favorite artist and repertoire. This will help you figure out which players/vocalists to put them on stage with.
Don’t insist on putting players together that don’t work well together. They’ll just resent you and each other. Creativity cannot be forced, or scheduled.
Get the clueless and the hopelessly inebriated players off stage quickly but tactfully. Tact is defined here as telling someone where to go so skillfully their actually looking forward to the trip.
Supply a clue to the clueless. Encourage them to improve, offer suggestions for accomplishing that goal.
The persistently clueless should be encouraged to find another hobby.
Put the seasoned players up with the talented up-and-comers. Encourage mentoring. Invest in America’s youth, you might need the talents of a “young gun” some day and they’ll already be familiar with your material.
Don’t sabotage good players by putting them up with clueless ones. The good ones may not come back. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Coda: Emmanuel Garza ran a great jam, Emmanuel was the Guitarist/Vocalist for the late, much lamented, Detroit Blues Band, and their 20 year run is more than remarkable. Their jams were always a positive learning experience, always attended by good to great players, and always had a good sized crowd of appreciative listeners. I gratefully acknowledge that a lot of what's contained in this manifesto is based on observations and pleasant experiences at those jams. Also see Superior Music for "Rules of the Jam" though it is intended for casual jams, it is a worthy read. Also a great, very complete musician joke page, including a page of THE most hilarious country song titles, "The worst country songs ever written" and “How to sing the Blues”
Emmanuel Garza was last known to be performing with The Motor City Sheiks, The Jukes, & Out of the Blue.
Billy, where ever you are, you’re still the best.
Thanks Jim, ya know that my tongue gets in the way of my eye teeth and I can’t see what I’m sayin’.
© Al Rude 12/2001 -2007